The Power of Imitation

I read online about a wife who reports that her husband compliments every meal she makes, regardless of its merit. “Thanks, hon, this is delicious.” But then her youngest daughter began doing the same thing – “Thanks, mommy, this is delicious” – but before she had even tried the food! She would then take a big mouthful, realize she didn’t actually like it, and try to subtly spit the food back onto her plate.

The power of imitation. It’s a truly wondrous thing, and God built us to live in a world where we learn and are shaped by imitation. A person who fails to learn from the example of those around him (if he isn’t insane) is what the Bible calls a fool.

God instructed His people early on about the power of imitation, both for good and evil. “You shall not bow down to their gods nor serve them, nor do as they do” (Ex 23:24). The wise father spoke in Proverbs and instructed his son, “Do not enter the path of the wicked, and do not walk in the way of the evil.” Rather, “the path of the righteous is like the light of dawn, which shines brighter and brighter until full day (Prov 4:14,18). After washing His disciples’ feet, Jesus said, “For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you” (Jn 13:15). Peter wrote, “Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps” (1 Pet 2:21). Paul invited his readers in Corinth to “Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ” (11:1). Paul also wrote, “Brothers, join in imitating me, and keep your eyes on those who walk according to the example you have in us” (Phil 3:17).

We could multiply many more examples. The Scriptures are filled with exhortations to imitate God and those who are holy and wise, alongside warnings not to be like those who hate God and walk in unrighteousness.

These exhortations are all the more pointed for parents because imitation is inescapable in parenting. Parents always lead by example, either for good or ill. Their children are always imitating them. Of course, this is to be expected since God made us imago Dei, in His image, to image Him forth as our Heavenly Father. This divine dynamic is mirrored in the work of parenting when our own children are made in our image and then live in conscious (or unconscious) imitation of us.

This is both an encouragement and a warning to us, parents. It’s an encouragement since we can see duplicated in our children’s lives the same graces that Christ is working in us. But it’s also a warning.

Please beware, parents: your children are prone to share your habits and outlook about just about anything, from your wife’s cooking to your hobbies to your attitudes about school.

If you show skepticism of or a critical spirit toward one of your child’s teachers, don’t be surprised if your child comes to doubt, resist, or resent that teacher.

If you don’t sing in church or make it clear that you don’t like to sing, don’t be surprised if your child scoffs during music class and refuses to praise the Lord.

If you equate learning with earning grades by asking the question “What grade did you get?” instead of “What did you learn?” your children will likely come to embrace extrinsic rather than intrinsic rewards that will lead them away from being a lifetime learner.

If you speak of schoolwork and learning as a hard thing to be avoided, don’t be surprised if your child embraces the myth of fragility and seeks excuses to evade the hard work of schooling.

But, of course, by God’s grace, the opposite of all these is also true. As you show support for your child’s teacher, sing robustly when you praise God, and value learning, diligence, and determination, your child will be nurtured by your example and have his or her character shaped for a lifetime.

You know these things, of course, but I hope this has been a timely reminder for you. May God make us all worthy examples for our children to imitate.